Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Oblivious butt flickr

I was crossing the street going to Potbelly to get my turkey on when this 'oblivious butt flickr' almost threw her ciggy ashes onto my gorgeous wool jacket.

I didn't scream stop but gave a gutteral 'unnghhg nooo" and it stopped her in her tracks. My coat is OK thanks for asking.

This lady was totally oblivious. A few moments earlier she almost stepped right in front of a cab. Doesn't everybody know that DC cabbies are freaking insane?

I prey she doesn't have progeny. I don't think the world can handle that much stupid gene.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Weirdos and other strange attractors

I recently read a New York Times article about how some people feel like they attract weirdos in their life. For example, one person felt like they had random crazy people just go up and talk to them.

I feel kind of the same way. Except, I feel like an unusually high number of people try to save my soul. I get approached by soul savers all the time.

There was a super creepy guy at the metro station today. He wore a suit and approached me from the side. I was ready to Tai Bo kick him until he said the magic words, "Are you familiar with the Lord....."

Oh God!

Dude, don't prostyleze at me. You almost got kicked cause I thought you looked like you were going to corner me or something.

I think that this is about the 20th time someone has tried to save my soul. I don't understand why? Do I look like I need saving? Do they sense I am a Republican?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Unadulterated Carnage

I have many resolutions for 2007.

1. I am going to learn how to play Gears of War.

2. I will attract better pinatas to my pinata garden.

3. I will try Indian food again.

4. I will have a big fat juicy steak at a big schmancy steakhouse in DC

5. I will not join a bookclub.

6. I will get annoyed at the number of people who have noted how long my graduate program will take and laugh at them. Don't they know I am going to live till 125 years old?

7. I am going to get my multivariable calculus and differential equations on.

8. I am going to take more taxi rides. My last two metrorail rides ended in tears.

9. I promise I will get annoyed with my outlaws.

10. I will visit the far reaches of North Carolina.