Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Italian Stallion

I work with lots of male economists. Usually, I coexist peacefully with them. I don't bother them during March Madness and they don't bother me when I do my online shoe shopping. I don't talk Ugg to them and they don't bother me with any sports related chatter.

However, there is one male economist who I call the "Italian Stallion." He thinks he is God's Gift to Women. I heard him in the hall bragging about his "way with women" and how they "like foreign accents." Apparently, in college a another student asked him if he and his friend were Italian. He said yes to this poor co-ed and started speaking Serbian to his friend with a fake Italian accent. The "Italian Stallion" did not say whether the co-ed bought this or not.

I do not recommend this behavior as a mating/dating strategy. Based on what else I heard in the hall, I don't think anyone is going to be paying for stud service.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Economics of Stuff

I have too much stuff. I just dropped three bags of stuff at the Goodwill and made a U-Turn on a very busy street to go right back in and get different stuff. I don't understand why one bag of stuff is better than the stuff I just dropped off.

Oh I know why! It is the thrill of the hunt! I can buy hardback books for $2 and paperbacks for $1. It is the complete randomness of the stuff that fascinates me. Sometimes the stuff is good and sometimes it is just trash. This week, I bought a Burberry Trench Coat for $35 dollars! I have always wanted a Burberry Raincoat but I never wanted to spend a thousand dollars for the privilege.

Also I love the fact that I have to keep an eye on my cart or someone will actually try and run-off with my hand selected used items. People circle like sharks! I am not afraid to say "Hey, that's my stuff!" and they usually slink away. I have only observed this behavior at Costco. People ruthless steal cart and run off with your stuff there too. It is amazing how crazy people get when you get between them and their rotisserie chickens.

Monday, January 05, 2009

Economic Report of Whitehouse Squirrels

Today I conducted a preliminary analysis of the White House squirrel population. Here is an official transcript of an interview with an especially hyper one.

I asked Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel, "Come down from that tree! What do you think about the state of the union?"

Reply, "I am doing OK. I have enough acorns to last me the winter. Do you have any trailmix?"

No, I can't offer you gratuities in exchange for the interview.

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "Oh OK. What about a peanut then?"

No, no peanuts. Let's get back on the issues! Has nut production decreased over the last several quarters?

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I have no idea. I usually beg for sandwiches if I don't get enough nuts. It is amazing what you can get from tourists if you look cute enough"

I saw you with that tourist! You almost bit the hand that fed you!

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I know. I got a nice pat on the head and a sandwich"
You are not supposed to touch the squirrel.

Point taken. Interview over. Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel went to harrass a tourist.