Social Study of Economists Vice Behavior

My main vice is caffeine, specifically in the form of coffee. I have tried to quit, but until they come out with a caffeine patch, I am afraid that I won't have success. I didn't drink coffee as an undergraduate. I think that is because coffee used to suck. Thanks to the West Coast, Coffee Bean Industrial Complex, otherwise known as Starbucks and Seattle's Best, coffee is much better. In this spirit, I am going to name the 7 Deadly Sins for Economists. This is based on an unscientific survey of my co-workers.

1. Coffee
2. Cigarettes
3. Alcohol
4. Uncontrollable firting with the opposite Sex
5. Text Messaging
6. Procrastination with one's homework
7. Messy Desks

Happy Precedent Day!

Next week is Thanksgiving. Thanks to our annual tradition at work, I will be working most of next week like a maniac. However, some of my co-workers are actually allowed to take next week off. This sucks! I guess my former Chief, "Mr. I don't want to start a Precedent" wasn't able to hold the line with the other staff.

At this rate, I think I will eventually be in charge of everything and fulfill my Machiavellian need to be Queen Economist of the World.

Also, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to thank my co-workers who do the bare minimum at work. Thanks. You might not realize it, but your incompetance helps! Thanks to you and your lack of work ethic and our performance system, I get more of a pay raise! Thank you for being the tail of the normal distribution, and not on the nice end!

Hierarchical Chain of Demand

I firmly believe in the Dilbert Principle. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would create a model and prove that incompetant managers get promoted while the worker bees toil in obscurity. The incompetants also have Phds in Economics and ask
lower order Economists for special tabulations of data. They go on to riches, adoration, and jobs with President Elect Barack Obama. Yes, I am serious this has actually happened. Oooh I am a little bitter tonight!

Actually that's one of the reasons why I decided to go to grad school. I was constantly handling special tabulations of data that people were using to get their PHds in Econ and also published papers in Economics journals. Hell, I still don't understand why I didn't get in to that damn Phd program. I'll get there one day damn you and I will get into a better ranked program! Well FU and the horse you rode in on!!!

Anyway, someone asked me to alter space and time to get a project done. This is one of the new managers outside the "hierarchical chain of demand". I tried to explain the time continum but it didn't work. Hence I am working this weekend to make the world a better place.

Before I graduated in my degree program, they made sure I was comfortable with using the word "hierachical." At work, I try to use it every chance I get. The other Economists get confused by words with more than 3 syllables.

Veterans Day

Veterans,

Thank you for serving the United States and protecting our freedom.

Northern Virginia and Apocalypse Now

Well I read a funny quote from Joe McCain and I have to say I agree with him!

He said:
"I've lived here for at least 10 years and before that, about every third duty I was in either Arlington or Alexandria, up in communist country..."

It is really tough living here in the northern virginia collective, a bastion of liberals. I am really tired of hearing people at near home and work discuss how the government should do more to help. Geez people, we shouldn’t depend on the government to be our nanny! What is great about America is that we have much opportunity and freedom. Even in these tough economic times, we can further ourselves by education and frugal living. You have more opportunity in America than anywhere else.

The northern virginia governments are spending far too much money on citizen services. They are involved with housing, medical services, and job programs. I say cut them all and let people pay for their own stuff. If they can’t, then move. I pay a lot in taxes and don’t get a lot of return. The roads suck and I don’t have children in the public education system. We have a sizable illegal immigrant population whose children are going to public schools and are also a drag on government expenses. Obviously, something in Virginia is not working.

So I was quite amused by Joe McCain’s quip. It was so unpolitically correct and refreshing! To be exact though, I recommend you reacharacterize them as Northern Virginia, Quasi-Socialists Conflicted Yuppies.

Double Standards

Oh I just read a New York Times article that made me furious! They are going to allow the IMF director, Dominiqe Strauss-Kahn to continue working there even though he had an affair with a married subordinate. Wow, I am totally shocked by the double standard that it is acceptable for the IMF director to have a fling but god forbid that Wolfowitz (Former World Bank President) had a fling with one of his subordinates. It sends a bad message to staffers within the Fund and World Bark that ethical lapses are OK if you are European. This is totally unacceptable. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would fire his ass.

Crazy Exxon Clerk

As if high gas prices aren't enough, I had to deal with a crazy ass Exxon Clerk.

I had the audacity to pay with cash. You have to pay before you pump gas, so I gave him $40 and said $30 on number 4. He wasn't going to give me any change until I insisted. So I went to the number 4 pump and tried to pump the gas. It didn't work. The crazy ass clerk ran out of his booth and started yelling at me and the poor fellow on the number 3 pump. He screamed "She said number 3" I said "No, $30 on number 4" The other motorist freaked out and yelled at the clerk "YOu can't talk to ME like that" Mayhem insued. Basically, it took me 15 minutes to get it figured out. Some other motorist called the cops because the clerk and the other motorist were yelling at each other.

Next time I am going to pay with a credit card and I am never going to that Exxon again.

Fat Bums don't need change

I never give change to bums. I think most of them are druggies, alcoholics, and/or crazy. Basically, I don't want to deal with them.

They basically engage in economic warfare with each other. They each have a corner and work at certain times of day. One guy times it to coincide with morning and evening rush hour at McPherson Square. I see the same bums every day working the same corner. They are actually quite industrious.

So I am not going to give them change or incentive to hang out and bother me every day. This summer, I saw one of the regulars shoo away a new lady begger. Geez, that was terrible in alot of ways. That lady was using her kid as a prop to beg for change.

In DC, the homeless have alot of services like food, medical care, and even a place to stay if they are so inclined. It isn't bum nirvana, but their needs are met. I am not a heartless Republican ogre....well yeah kind of. I am just amused that bums negotiate their trade just like CEOs. Protect your turf, eradicate your opponents, and maintain profit share.

The Art of Saying, Hi Y'all

I must be invisible and so must my next door neighbor. We arrived home at the same time and the neighboors across the street ignored both of us. This is the first time I have been ignored at the same time as next door neighbor. THis is quite sad but I am pleased that it isn't just me.

Fine. Don't say hi neighbors.

You both look like fat bumblebees in your bike spandex! It really doesn't look good on either of you. Snap.

Coffee rage, a new Northern Virginia Pastime

I officially declare that I hate DC and surrounding Northern Virginia city states (Arlington and Alexandria). They could not have picked a worse spot for our Capitol City. I don't think anyone would want to occupy us because they couldn't deal with the heat and humidity. I think the heat here is worse than Miami.

We are currently dealing with freak deluges of rain and some Starbucks closings. Consumers are starting to panic and start harrassing the people who make their coffee. The Washington Post is reporting that some someone named Mr. Simmermon flipped out about not getting a cup of ice with his espresso. See here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/16/AR2008071602018.html
Obviously Mr. Simmermon is not well and needs immediate sedation. If you can't handle your caffeine, then get out of the coffee shop. This guy seems like a total Tool! Divert your rage, man, it is just espresso!

I hate Wednesdays

Today started auspciously, I threw up my cornflakes on my carpet. My day did not improve.

When I got to work, I was all hot and sweaty and had to figure out what to do about lunch. Due to previous cornflake trauma, I ate saltines and coke.

Needless to say I looked like Death Warmed over most of the day. This scared the office mate and affected office productity.

Someone asked me what I like about DC. I told them I like the airports, the shopping and Butterstick the panda. Everything else sucks.

TO top things off, I left my key badge in my office and was locked out in the hallway. I waited 20 minutes to be left in cause everyone left for the day.

I need a shot of Grey Goose and call it a night.

Absent minded, ADD, or just getting old?

The longer I've worked in economics, the more absent minded I become with practical things like:

1. I forget to turn on the dryer after loading clothes
2. I leave things in the fridge until they turn into petri dishes of goo.
3. I have no playing patience for Warcraft or Gears of War. I only play chess.
4. Small children and whiny young economists irritate me

I am turning into a Generation X Economist Curdmudgeon. Uuugh.

I am going to go work on my Bucket List.

Circle of Hell known as DC in June

It is hot as hell in DC. My hair is frizzing out due to the humidity. That is all.

On Economics, the Dismal Science

If I see one more study about multifactor productivity or the Cause of the Great Depression I am going to scream. That has got to be one of the most boring topics ever. I am really shocked how repetitive the most dissertations and papers are. Do you know what MFP and the Great Depression have in common? It is really easy to get data about these issues and regurgitate one's opinion.

Oh and the entire Freakanomics and Tipping Point phenomena really irritate me. Anyone can plug and chug numbers and look for relationships. The general public seem in awe of the Freakonomics gurus! It isn't rocket science people, it is something called Statistics! And as for the Tipping Point, I think I read the virus phenomena in the Andromeda Strain! Develop an original thought dude!

I am so peturbed....I am going to watch the Gummy Bear Video on Robot Chicken to cheer me up.

Scarcity

Due to an evil chief information officer, my training class was canceled. I hate the new CIO.

Holy Maneki Neko Batman!

I attended an Economic Conference in the DC area this week. I witnessed one of the worst presentations ever (WPE). This person created a presentation about how creative products/intangibles should be classified or estimated in the System of National Accounts.

Here is why this presenter sucked.
1. You finished your presentation by saying your summary wasn't worth it!
2. You contradicted yourself in your examples.
3. Your English was incomprehensible.
4. I'll never have those 15 minutes of my life back.

You have no excuse to speak so poorly. If I were presenting in another language...I would have written my speech and practiced. There is no excuse for poor planning, especially at this level.

How to run with the Economist Herd

Hi,

Based on observation and life experience I recommend the following to "fit in" with a group of economists. This is very helpful at economic conferences or safari as I like to think about it.

1. Wear funky glasses
2. Laugh at stupid jokes from the Federal Reserve presenter, He/She knows we'd give our souls to work there.
3. Have bad hair (this is a sure indication of genius!)
4. Develop a squint and head tilt
5. Run a chair-to-coffee-pot 5 second sprint and sometimes grab a pastry

That is all.

Irrational Consumer Behavior

Today I would like to rant about irrational consumers and the economists who love them.

1. I think that mortgage firms and borrowers are equally to blame for the crisis. On one hand, you have mortgage companies that makes money off of lending money to as many customers as possible. Then you have borrowers who want to pay as little as possible and who opted for adjustable rate mortgages or subprime loans which are very high risk. You have consumers that can barely pay and little or no penalites to the mortgage companies that finance these loans. Now you have state governments trying to intervene in real estate markets to reduce the number of foreclosures. Stupid consumers! Stop buying crap you can't afford! Stupid greedy mortgage firms, you should have done your due diligence! Dumb state governments, let them eat cake!

2. I don't understand consumer behavior at all you can eat breakfast buffet lines. I don't understand why people pile a ton of food on one plate. I mean they can theoretically go back for more. Why do consumers insist on piling eggs, bacon, pancakes, fruit, syrup, toast, oatmeal, more pancakes and crab legs (just kidding) all on one plate. Are they that lazy they can't walk up to the buffet to reload? I have a pet theory. They think if they don't get it now, it could be gone, so why don't they take it ASAP. They are inherently selfish and don't want to share the syrup. Thats my unscientific opinion.

If I got into the PHD Econ program, I planned to test my crazy ass theories in the experimental economics lab. But alas, perhaps it was not meant to be. Well, I will eventually apply to a higher ranked program so there! Hah!

WTF moment with Wall Street Journal

What happened to the Wall Street Journal? I just read an article from Brett Arends called "Load Up the Pantry" at http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/104914/Load-Up-the-Pantry. It is one of the most inane things I have ever read!
The author recommended that one should stock up their pantry in case of rising food prices. I feel like the article is a tack on to the rice panic of 2008 that most of the media outlets reported. Here is why I think the article is ridiculous:

1. Hello people, commodities are quite violatile! Plus if prices are that high, more farmers/ag producers might increase production and eventually cause a price drop. The commodity prices could very well go down!

2. Let's not forget the Fed either. Thanks to our Monetary Patron Saints, Former Fed Chair's Volker and Greenspan, United States policy had been price stability and stable economic growth. Bernake is on the same page.

3. I don't believe something unless they quote the source. They quoted statistics but didn't say the source whether it was the CPI or PPI price series.

Shame on the Wall Street Journal for such a bad article. If consumers are that concerned about price increases, create a Victory Garden or buy a share of a milking cow.

Day 2 Rice Panic and reality TV

I must send a thank you note to Bravo TV for providing me the best in escapist reality shows. I wuv you I really really do! Where else can I see extremely rich good looking people bitch and complain about everything! Not in DC. The rich are very ugly here. Don't get me started about waiting in line at the prepared foods counter at Whole Foods. This old well dressed witch shoved me aside to get her vittles. Manners people, manners!

Here is my take on the "Real Housewives of New York City"

Ramona:
In one episode, you see Ramona talk to her daughter about having an freedom fund or an impolite way to say it is an "FU Fund". I think it is valid advice to have a fund where you can walk if a job or situation isn't work out. A really mean French person named Michelle gave me some advice, "Information is Power." I disagree. Money is.

Alex:
In the reunion episode she quoted Ayn Rand regarding contradictions? OMG! I am deeply disturbed that a social climber like that quoted Ayn Rand.

Luann:
She seems like a nice lady but is really obsessed with her Countess title. Are people impressed with this in America? I mean I guess she is married to French royalty. I really thought most of the french royalty thing ended with the French Revolution!

Bethanny
I really like her. She seems like such a smartass. I want to see more of this on TV. I was devastated when Gilmore GIrls ended.

Jill
I think you are awesome and a great counterpoint to Ramona. It is like watching Good versus Evil. Darth vader versus luke skywalker in a suede outfit.

This stuff really takes my mind off the current rice panic, Day 2. If you really want to stress, look at the inflation adjusted cost per gallon of gasoline.