Duck almost got Pekinged

Well work was fun today. And I am researching job transfers.

I am definitely looking forward to this summer....one of my "Favorite" staff is leaving. I just want to send this person my regards and thanks for the memories.

Thanks for the following items:

1. Canceling my Thanksgiving plans a few years back. It cost about $250 to change my flights. You didn't even need me that day for the meeting!
2. "Teaching" me how to use a very basic formula in EXCEL.
3. the general lack of respect and rudeness
4. "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes"
5. canceling various types of training

Ok. Well, as I walked to Metro I saw a crazy ass mallard duck just stop in the middle of the street. It looked like it was being indecisive. I am not going to make that same error.

EndGame

I am looking to get the hell out of Dodge or at least to go to a different part of town.

Current managment threw the whole organzation up in the air and expected things to fit back together like a jig saw puzzle. As a result, no one knows what they are doing. I think they have pushed us back at least five years as an organization.

I really hoped it would work out. However, the new apparatchik seems to enjoy Management as Crisis to Crisis rather than instigating some organizational stability. As a result, the more experienced staff are leaving. And I hope to be one of them.

Once I was asked what type of managment style I might have. Honestly, I am not exactly sure but I know what not to do now.

What I learned from The Caine Mutiny

I just watched the Caine Mutiny and found relevant strategies to deal with a crazy-ass management team.

1. Ignore the crazy and just play along
2. Assume that upper management will ignore the crazy and play along too
3. Tenure means everything
4. You are screwed if you don't have any allies.
5. Don't stick your neck out unless it is life threatening
6. Sometimes you just gotta count the strawberries

Thanks Herman Wouk!

Sinking Ships and Diminishing Returns

Currently morale is at an all time low at work. There has been a regime change we have a new Apparatchik. Everybody is looking for a new job or retiring so they don't have to deal with all the crap. I am currently looking at becoming one of the crew members on Whale Wars and slinging rancid butter at Japanese Boats. I am joking but the level of futility is about the same.

I am really in shock how bad the work environment is. I guess it made sense to reorganize us in an abstract kind of way. Hmmm one of the results is that no one knows what the F### we are doing.

I can't believe this person is Senior Executive Service. Didn't they learn anything?

Oh F### everything right now!

Current Academic Meltdown

I am not doing well academically right now. I find it difficult to listen to a pompous, left leaning, misogynist, dodo head professor.

I need to get my stuff together and just get over it.

Why can't liberals and I just get along?

Happy DC Moments with Zantac

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!

You might be a redneck...

Today in DC a crazy person rode his bike in the crosswalk, right in front of me. He looked at me and said "You don't look like a redneck."

I am not sure how to interpret this.

The Italian Stallion

I work with lots of male economists. Usually, I coexist peacefully with them. I don't bother them during March Madness and they don't bother me when I do my online shoe shopping. I don't talk Ugg to them and they don't bother me with any sports related chatter.

However, there is one male economist who I call the "Italian Stallion." He thinks he is God's Gift to Women. I heard him in the hall bragging about his "way with women" and how they "like foreign accents." Apparently, in college a another student asked him if he and his friend were Italian. He said yes to this poor co-ed and started speaking Serbian to his friend with a fake Italian accent. The "Italian Stallion" did not say whether the co-ed bought this or not.

I do not recommend this behavior as a mating/dating strategy. Based on what else I heard in the hall, I don't think anyone is going to be paying for stud service.

The Economics of Stuff

I have too much stuff. I just dropped three bags of stuff at the Goodwill and made a U-Turn on a very busy street to go right back in and get different stuff. I don't understand why one bag of stuff is better than the stuff I just dropped off.

Oh I know why! It is the thrill of the hunt! I can buy hardback books for $2 and paperbacks for $1. It is the complete randomness of the stuff that fascinates me. Sometimes the stuff is good and sometimes it is just trash. This week, I bought a Burberry Trench Coat for $35 dollars! I have always wanted a Burberry Raincoat but I never wanted to spend a thousand dollars for the privilege.

Also I love the fact that I have to keep an eye on my cart or someone will actually try and run-off with my hand selected used items. People circle like sharks! I am not afraid to say "Hey, that's my stuff!" and they usually slink away. I have only observed this behavior at Costco. People ruthless steal cart and run off with your stuff there too. It is amazing how crazy people get when you get between them and their rotisserie chickens.

Economic Report of Whitehouse Squirrels

Today I conducted a preliminary analysis of the White House squirrel population. Here is an official transcript of an interview with an especially hyper one.

I asked Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel, "Come down from that tree! What do you think about the state of the union?"

Reply, "I am doing OK. I have enough acorns to last me the winter. Do you have any trailmix?"

No, I can't offer you gratuities in exchange for the interview.

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "Oh OK. What about a peanut then?"

No, no peanuts. Let's get back on the issues! Has nut production decreased over the last several quarters?

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I have no idea. I usually beg for sandwiches if I don't get enough nuts. It is amazing what you can get from tourists if you look cute enough"

I saw you with that tourist! You almost bit the hand that fed you!

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I know. I got a nice pat on the head and a sandwich"
You are not supposed to touch the squirrel.

Point taken. Interview over. Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel went to harrass a tourist.

Economic Highlights of 2008

Wow what a year to be an economist! Here are my favorite economic highlights!

1. Rice Panic of Summer 2008
2. Jim Cramer's Rant on CNBC
3. Short Sellers, Fannie Mae, and default credit swaps Oh My!
4. Note to Banks: Merge, Baby, Merge!
5. Offshore Drilling will fix gas prices, NOT!
6. Keynesians are back in Vogue for 2009!
7. SIPC is the new FDIC
8. Belges take Budweiser
9. Consumers save money and spend it on HDTVs at Walmart
10.Madoff scandal proves rich people are greedy too!

Eat fish, not Whales

I am watching a new show on Animal Planet called Whale Wars. Wow, the crew on the Sea Shepard are absolutely nutto extremists. And extremists of any stripe scare me!
I am anti-whaling but I don't agree with the methods of this group at all. I just wish that they would let the Australian government handle this.

So I watch about 8 episodes of Whale Wars and am absolutely stunned that Animal Planet is actually filming this. Here is why I don't like the show.

1. I see the same 5-6 dead whales every episode. The show is starting to feel a lot like thinly veiled propoganda. Have they saved any whales?

2. The Captain is putting his crew in danger.
Untrained crew are trying to put zodiac boats in rough water, launch, and try to board another vessel. This is very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing.

3. The Sea Shepard is engaging in piracy. They are throwing rancid butter bombs at another ship and trying to board them.

4. They are operating a ship in Antarctic waters and it can't handle ice. Wow! If ice breached their hull, they might sink!

I think what Japan whaling is awful. If I had the money, I would buy all the companies that engage in whaling and put a stop to it. It can't be that difficult to switch to commerical fishing. I wish some environmentalists would consider peaceful means to achieving their goals, rather then extreme actions.

Flying to DC in Third World conditions

Good lord, I hope I never have to fly Thankgiving weekend ever in my whole live. I say this year after year, and as you know those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

I can't believe it but I miss my super efficient, blackberry texting, non-smelly airport denizens in DC. They line up, they don't usually smell, and they respect my personal space. Unfortunately, this did not happen in the airport I flew out of. I saw some line rage. It was scary. But I got pushed to the edge too when one family of 6 people tried to cut me in the TSA line. I had to speak up or I was going to miss my flight. I said "Hi, I am in back of this family" and I took my little box for coat and acountrements. That was just the final straw. I made my flight with minutes to spare. Thank god, because I don't think I could have dealt with the patchouli smelling people any more. Geez, I wonder why the drug K9 was drooling when he came by to check out the people in front of me in line! I personally got cursed out by some people with delightful Jamaican accents. It is so much nicer when they say, "Get a move on!"

This airport was in the US but it seemed like third world service. The people who worked at the airport kept on screaming at people who tried to ask them questions.
Good god man, the horror the horror!

Social Study of Economists Vice Behavior

My main vice is caffeine, specifically in the form of coffee. I have tried to quit, but until they come out with a caffeine patch, I am afraid that I won't have success. I didn't drink coffee as an undergraduate. I think that is because coffee used to suck. Thanks to the West Coast, Coffee Bean Industrial Complex, otherwise known as Starbucks and Seattle's Best, coffee is much better. In this spirit, I am going to name the 7 Deadly Sins for Economists. This is based on an unscientific survey of my co-workers.

1. Coffee
2. Cigarettes
3. Alcohol
4. Uncontrollable firting with the opposite Sex
5. Text Messaging
6. Procrastination with one's homework
7. Messy Desks

Happy Precedent Day!

Next week is Thanksgiving. Thanks to our annual tradition at work, I will be working most of next week like a maniac. However, some of my co-workers are actually allowed to take next week off. This sucks! I guess my former Chief, "Mr. I don't want to start a Precedent" wasn't able to hold the line with the other staff.

At this rate, I think I will eventually be in charge of everything and fulfill my Machiavellian need to be Queen Economist of the World.

Also, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to thank my co-workers who do the bare minimum at work. Thanks. You might not realize it, but your incompetance helps! Thanks to you and your lack of work ethic and our performance system, I get more of a pay raise! Thank you for being the tail of the normal distribution, and not on the nice end!

Hierarchical Chain of Demand

I firmly believe in the Dilbert Principle. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would create a model and prove that incompetant managers get promoted while the worker bees toil in obscurity. The incompetants also have Phds in Economics and ask
lower order Economists for special tabulations of data. They go on to riches, adoration, and jobs with President Elect Barack Obama. Yes, I am serious this has actually happened. Oooh I am a little bitter tonight!

Actually that's one of the reasons why I decided to go to grad school. I was constantly handling special tabulations of data that people were using to get their PHds in Econ and also published papers in Economics journals. Hell, I still don't understand why I didn't get in to that damn Phd program. I'll get there one day damn you and I will get into a better ranked program! Well FU and the horse you rode in on!!!

Anyway, someone asked me to alter space and time to get a project done. This is one of the new managers outside the "hierarchical chain of demand". I tried to explain the time continum but it didn't work. Hence I am working this weekend to make the world a better place.

Before I graduated in my degree program, they made sure I was comfortable with using the word "hierachical." At work, I try to use it every chance I get. The other Economists get confused by words with more than 3 syllables.

Veterans Day

Veterans,

Thank you for serving the United States and protecting our freedom.

Northern Virginia and Apocalypse Now

Well I read a funny quote from Joe McCain and I have to say I agree with him!

He said:
"I've lived here for at least 10 years and before that, about every third duty I was in either Arlington or Alexandria, up in communist country..."

It is really tough living here in the northern virginia collective, a bastion of liberals. I am really tired of hearing people at near home and work discuss how the government should do more to help. Geez people, we shouldn’t depend on the government to be our nanny! What is great about America is that we have much opportunity and freedom. Even in these tough economic times, we can further ourselves by education and frugal living. You have more opportunity in America than anywhere else.

The northern virginia governments are spending far too much money on citizen services. They are involved with housing, medical services, and job programs. I say cut them all and let people pay for their own stuff. If they can’t, then move. I pay a lot in taxes and don’t get a lot of return. The roads suck and I don’t have children in the public education system. We have a sizable illegal immigrant population whose children are going to public schools and are also a drag on government expenses. Obviously, something in Virginia is not working.

So I was quite amused by Joe McCain’s quip. It was so unpolitically correct and refreshing! To be exact though, I recommend you reacharacterize them as Northern Virginia, Quasi-Socialists Conflicted Yuppies.

Double Standards

Oh I just read a New York Times article that made me furious! They are going to allow the IMF director, Dominiqe Strauss-Kahn to continue working there even though he had an affair with a married subordinate. Wow, I am totally shocked by the double standard that it is acceptable for the IMF director to have a fling but god forbid that Wolfowitz (Former World Bank President) had a fling with one of his subordinates. It sends a bad message to staffers within the Fund and World Bark that ethical lapses are OK if you are European. This is totally unacceptable. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would fire his ass.

Crazy Exxon Clerk

As if high gas prices aren't enough, I had to deal with a crazy ass Exxon Clerk.

I had the audacity to pay with cash. You have to pay before you pump gas, so I gave him $40 and said $30 on number 4. He wasn't going to give me any change until I insisted. So I went to the number 4 pump and tried to pump the gas. It didn't work. The crazy ass clerk ran out of his booth and started yelling at me and the poor fellow on the number 3 pump. He screamed "She said number 3" I said "No, $30 on number 4" The other motorist freaked out and yelled at the clerk "YOu can't talk to ME like that" Mayhem insued. Basically, it took me 15 minutes to get it figured out. Some other motorist called the cops because the clerk and the other motorist were yelling at each other.

Next time I am going to pay with a credit card and I am never going to that Exxon again.