Dealing with "Sam"

I am currently dealing with one of the most difficult coworkers ever. He can't seem to breathe without asking me if the formula for oxygen, carbon dioxide, and miscellanous atmospheric gases are appropriate.

Is Sam dense or difficult? I am not sure. I just know that he is an asshole. Don't expect me to contribute to his retirement gift/party. Oh hell no, I am going to use the money to buy a small bottle of Moet and Chadon. I am going to sip it in my office bedamned the government regulations about alcohol in the office.

Payback IS a Bitch

I am currently working on a project with a coworker who I will call "Sam." I hate Sam. About 3 years ago, I needed Sam's help with a different project. He was really mean and obnoxious to me and didn't answer my question. Fast forward three years later and "Sam" needs my help now.

I am not helping Sam. Revenge is sweet.

Note to self, always be kind to junior staffers.