Economic Highlights of 2008

Wow what a year to be an economist! Here are my favorite economic highlights!

1. Rice Panic of Summer 2008
2. Jim Cramer's Rant on CNBC
3. Short Sellers, Fannie Mae, and default credit swaps Oh My!
4. Note to Banks: Merge, Baby, Merge!
5. Offshore Drilling will fix gas prices, NOT!
6. Keynesians are back in Vogue for 2009!
7. SIPC is the new FDIC
8. Belges take Budweiser
9. Consumers save money and spend it on HDTVs at Walmart
10.Madoff scandal proves rich people are greedy too!

Eat fish, not Whales

I am watching a new show on Animal Planet called Whale Wars. Wow, the crew on the Sea Shepard are absolutely nutto extremists. And extremists of any stripe scare me!
I am anti-whaling but I don't agree with the methods of this group at all. I just wish that they would let the Australian government handle this.

So I watch about 8 episodes of Whale Wars and am absolutely stunned that Animal Planet is actually filming this. Here is why I don't like the show.

1. I see the same 5-6 dead whales every episode. The show is starting to feel a lot like thinly veiled propoganda. Have they saved any whales?

2. The Captain is putting his crew in danger.
Untrained crew are trying to put zodiac boats in rough water, launch, and try to board another vessel. This is very dangerous if you don't know what you are doing.

3. The Sea Shepard is engaging in piracy. They are throwing rancid butter bombs at another ship and trying to board them.

4. They are operating a ship in Antarctic waters and it can't handle ice. Wow! If ice breached their hull, they might sink!

I think what Japan whaling is awful. If I had the money, I would buy all the companies that engage in whaling and put a stop to it. It can't be that difficult to switch to commerical fishing. I wish some environmentalists would consider peaceful means to achieving their goals, rather then extreme actions.

Flying to DC in Third World conditions

Good lord, I hope I never have to fly Thankgiving weekend ever in my whole live. I say this year after year, and as you know those that don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

I can't believe it but I miss my super efficient, blackberry texting, non-smelly airport denizens in DC. They line up, they don't usually smell, and they respect my personal space. Unfortunately, this did not happen in the airport I flew out of. I saw some line rage. It was scary. But I got pushed to the edge too when one family of 6 people tried to cut me in the TSA line. I had to speak up or I was going to miss my flight. I said "Hi, I am in back of this family" and I took my little box for coat and acountrements. That was just the final straw. I made my flight with minutes to spare. Thank god, because I don't think I could have dealt with the patchouli smelling people any more. Geez, I wonder why the drug K9 was drooling when he came by to check out the people in front of me in line! I personally got cursed out by some people with delightful Jamaican accents. It is so much nicer when they say, "Get a move on!"

This airport was in the US but it seemed like third world service. The people who worked at the airport kept on screaming at people who tried to ask them questions.
Good god man, the horror the horror!

Social Study of Economists Vice Behavior

My main vice is caffeine, specifically in the form of coffee. I have tried to quit, but until they come out with a caffeine patch, I am afraid that I won't have success. I didn't drink coffee as an undergraduate. I think that is because coffee used to suck. Thanks to the West Coast, Coffee Bean Industrial Complex, otherwise known as Starbucks and Seattle's Best, coffee is much better. In this spirit, I am going to name the 7 Deadly Sins for Economists. This is based on an unscientific survey of my co-workers.

1. Coffee
2. Cigarettes
3. Alcohol
4. Uncontrollable firting with the opposite Sex
5. Text Messaging
6. Procrastination with one's homework
7. Messy Desks

Happy Precedent Day!

Next week is Thanksgiving. Thanks to our annual tradition at work, I will be working most of next week like a maniac. However, some of my co-workers are actually allowed to take next week off. This sucks! I guess my former Chief, "Mr. I don't want to start a Precedent" wasn't able to hold the line with the other staff.

At this rate, I think I will eventually be in charge of everything and fulfill my Machiavellian need to be Queen Economist of the World.

Also, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I would like to thank my co-workers who do the bare minimum at work. Thanks. You might not realize it, but your incompetance helps! Thanks to you and your lack of work ethic and our performance system, I get more of a pay raise! Thank you for being the tail of the normal distribution, and not on the nice end!

Hierarchical Chain of Demand

I firmly believe in the Dilbert Principle. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would create a model and prove that incompetant managers get promoted while the worker bees toil in obscurity. The incompetants also have Phds in Economics and ask
lower order Economists for special tabulations of data. They go on to riches, adoration, and jobs with President Elect Barack Obama. Yes, I am serious this has actually happened. Oooh I am a little bitter tonight!

Actually that's one of the reasons why I decided to go to grad school. I was constantly handling special tabulations of data that people were using to get their PHds in Econ and also published papers in Economics journals. Hell, I still don't understand why I didn't get in to that damn Phd program. I'll get there one day damn you and I will get into a better ranked program! Well FU and the horse you rode in on!!!

Anyway, someone asked me to alter space and time to get a project done. This is one of the new managers outside the "hierarchical chain of demand". I tried to explain the time continum but it didn't work. Hence I am working this weekend to make the world a better place.

Before I graduated in my degree program, they made sure I was comfortable with using the word "hierachical." At work, I try to use it every chance I get. The other Economists get confused by words with more than 3 syllables.

Veterans Day

Veterans,

Thank you for serving the United States and protecting our freedom.

Northern Virginia and Apocalypse Now

Well I read a funny quote from Joe McCain and I have to say I agree with him!

He said:
"I've lived here for at least 10 years and before that, about every third duty I was in either Arlington or Alexandria, up in communist country..."

It is really tough living here in the northern virginia collective, a bastion of liberals. I am really tired of hearing people at near home and work discuss how the government should do more to help. Geez people, we shouldn’t depend on the government to be our nanny! What is great about America is that we have much opportunity and freedom. Even in these tough economic times, we can further ourselves by education and frugal living. You have more opportunity in America than anywhere else.

The northern virginia governments are spending far too much money on citizen services. They are involved with housing, medical services, and job programs. I say cut them all and let people pay for their own stuff. If they can’t, then move. I pay a lot in taxes and don’t get a lot of return. The roads suck and I don’t have children in the public education system. We have a sizable illegal immigrant population whose children are going to public schools and are also a drag on government expenses. Obviously, something in Virginia is not working.

So I was quite amused by Joe McCain’s quip. It was so unpolitically correct and refreshing! To be exact though, I recommend you reacharacterize them as Northern Virginia, Quasi-Socialists Conflicted Yuppies.

Double Standards

Oh I just read a New York Times article that made me furious! They are going to allow the IMF director, Dominiqe Strauss-Kahn to continue working there even though he had an affair with a married subordinate. Wow, I am totally shocked by the double standard that it is acceptable for the IMF director to have a fling but god forbid that Wolfowitz (Former World Bank President) had a fling with one of his subordinates. It sends a bad message to staffers within the Fund and World Bark that ethical lapses are OK if you are European. This is totally unacceptable. If I were Queen Economist of the World I would fire his ass.

Crazy Exxon Clerk

As if high gas prices aren't enough, I had to deal with a crazy ass Exxon Clerk.

I had the audacity to pay with cash. You have to pay before you pump gas, so I gave him $40 and said $30 on number 4. He wasn't going to give me any change until I insisted. So I went to the number 4 pump and tried to pump the gas. It didn't work. The crazy ass clerk ran out of his booth and started yelling at me and the poor fellow on the number 3 pump. He screamed "She said number 3" I said "No, $30 on number 4" The other motorist freaked out and yelled at the clerk "YOu can't talk to ME like that" Mayhem insued. Basically, it took me 15 minutes to get it figured out. Some other motorist called the cops because the clerk and the other motorist were yelling at each other.

Next time I am going to pay with a credit card and I am never going to that Exxon again.

Fat Bums don't need change

I never give change to bums. I think most of them are druggies, alcoholics, and/or crazy. Basically, I don't want to deal with them.

They basically engage in economic warfare with each other. They each have a corner and work at certain times of day. One guy times it to coincide with morning and evening rush hour at McPherson Square. I see the same bums every day working the same corner. They are actually quite industrious.

So I am not going to give them change or incentive to hang out and bother me every day. This summer, I saw one of the regulars shoo away a new lady begger. Geez, that was terrible in alot of ways. That lady was using her kid as a prop to beg for change.

In DC, the homeless have alot of services like food, medical care, and even a place to stay if they are so inclined. It isn't bum nirvana, but their needs are met. I am not a heartless Republican ogre....well yeah kind of. I am just amused that bums negotiate their trade just like CEOs. Protect your turf, eradicate your opponents, and maintain profit share.

The Art of Saying, Hi Y'all

I must be invisible and so must my next door neighbor. We arrived home at the same time and the neighboors across the street ignored both of us. This is the first time I have been ignored at the same time as next door neighbor. THis is quite sad but I am pleased that it isn't just me.

Fine. Don't say hi neighbors.

You both look like fat bumblebees in your bike spandex! It really doesn't look good on either of you. Snap.

Coffee rage, a new Northern Virginia Pastime

I officially declare that I hate DC and surrounding Northern Virginia city states (Arlington and Alexandria). They could not have picked a worse spot for our Capitol City. I don't think anyone would want to occupy us because they couldn't deal with the heat and humidity. I think the heat here is worse than Miami.

We are currently dealing with freak deluges of rain and some Starbucks closings. Consumers are starting to panic and start harrassing the people who make their coffee. The Washington Post is reporting that some someone named Mr. Simmermon flipped out about not getting a cup of ice with his espresso. See here:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/07/16/AR2008071602018.html
Obviously Mr. Simmermon is not well and needs immediate sedation. If you can't handle your caffeine, then get out of the coffee shop. This guy seems like a total Tool! Divert your rage, man, it is just espresso!

I hate Wednesdays

Today started auspciously, I threw up my cornflakes on my carpet. My day did not improve.

When I got to work, I was all hot and sweaty and had to figure out what to do about lunch. Due to previous cornflake trauma, I ate saltines and coke.

Needless to say I looked like Death Warmed over most of the day. This scared the office mate and affected office productity.

Someone asked me what I like about DC. I told them I like the airports, the shopping and Butterstick the panda. Everything else sucks.

TO top things off, I left my key badge in my office and was locked out in the hallway. I waited 20 minutes to be left in cause everyone left for the day.

I need a shot of Grey Goose and call it a night.

Absent minded, ADD, or just getting old?

The longer I've worked in economics, the more absent minded I become with practical things like:

1. I forget to turn on the dryer after loading clothes
2. I leave things in the fridge until they turn into petri dishes of goo.
3. I have no playing patience for Warcraft or Gears of War. I only play chess.
4. Small children and whiny young economists irritate me

I am turning into a Generation X Economist Curdmudgeon. Uuugh.

I am going to go work on my Bucket List.

Circle of Hell known as DC in June

It is hot as hell in DC. My hair is frizzing out due to the humidity. That is all.

On Economics, the Dismal Science

If I see one more study about multifactor productivity or the Cause of the Great Depression I am going to scream. That has got to be one of the most boring topics ever. I am really shocked how repetitive the most dissertations and papers are. Do you know what MFP and the Great Depression have in common? It is really easy to get data about these issues and regurgitate one's opinion.

Oh and the entire Freakanomics and Tipping Point phenomena really irritate me. Anyone can plug and chug numbers and look for relationships. The general public seem in awe of the Freakonomics gurus! It isn't rocket science people, it is something called Statistics! And as for the Tipping Point, I think I read the virus phenomena in the Andromeda Strain! Develop an original thought dude!

I am so peturbed....I am going to watch the Gummy Bear Video on Robot Chicken to cheer me up.

Scarcity

Due to an evil chief information officer, my training class was canceled. I hate the new CIO.

Holy Maneki Neko Batman!

I attended an Economic Conference in the DC area this week. I witnessed one of the worst presentations ever (WPE). This person created a presentation about how creative products/intangibles should be classified or estimated in the System of National Accounts.

Here is why this presenter sucked.
1. You finished your presentation by saying your summary wasn't worth it!
2. You contradicted yourself in your examples.
3. Your English was incomprehensible.
4. I'll never have those 15 minutes of my life back.

You have no excuse to speak so poorly. If I were presenting in another language...I would have written my speech and practiced. There is no excuse for poor planning, especially at this level.

How to run with the Economist Herd

Hi,

Based on observation and life experience I recommend the following to "fit in" with a group of economists. This is very helpful at economic conferences or safari as I like to think about it.

1. Wear funky glasses
2. Laugh at stupid jokes from the Federal Reserve presenter, He/She knows we'd give our souls to work there.
3. Have bad hair (this is a sure indication of genius!)
4. Develop a squint and head tilt
5. Run a chair-to-coffee-pot 5 second sprint and sometimes grab a pastry

That is all.

Irrational Consumer Behavior

Today I would like to rant about irrational consumers and the economists who love them.

1. I think that mortgage firms and borrowers are equally to blame for the crisis. On one hand, you have mortgage companies that makes money off of lending money to as many customers as possible. Then you have borrowers who want to pay as little as possible and who opted for adjustable rate mortgages or subprime loans which are very high risk. You have consumers that can barely pay and little or no penalites to the mortgage companies that finance these loans. Now you have state governments trying to intervene in real estate markets to reduce the number of foreclosures. Stupid consumers! Stop buying crap you can't afford! Stupid greedy mortgage firms, you should have done your due diligence! Dumb state governments, let them eat cake!

2. I don't understand consumer behavior at all you can eat breakfast buffet lines. I don't understand why people pile a ton of food on one plate. I mean they can theoretically go back for more. Why do consumers insist on piling eggs, bacon, pancakes, fruit, syrup, toast, oatmeal, more pancakes and crab legs (just kidding) all on one plate. Are they that lazy they can't walk up to the buffet to reload? I have a pet theory. They think if they don't get it now, it could be gone, so why don't they take it ASAP. They are inherently selfish and don't want to share the syrup. Thats my unscientific opinion.

If I got into the PHD Econ program, I planned to test my crazy ass theories in the experimental economics lab. But alas, perhaps it was not meant to be. Well, I will eventually apply to a higher ranked program so there! Hah!

WTF moment with Wall Street Journal

What happened to the Wall Street Journal? I just read an article from Brett Arends called "Load Up the Pantry" at http://finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/104914/Load-Up-the-Pantry. It is one of the most inane things I have ever read!
The author recommended that one should stock up their pantry in case of rising food prices. I feel like the article is a tack on to the rice panic of 2008 that most of the media outlets reported. Here is why I think the article is ridiculous:

1. Hello people, commodities are quite violatile! Plus if prices are that high, more farmers/ag producers might increase production and eventually cause a price drop. The commodity prices could very well go down!

2. Let's not forget the Fed either. Thanks to our Monetary Patron Saints, Former Fed Chair's Volker and Greenspan, United States policy had been price stability and stable economic growth. Bernake is on the same page.

3. I don't believe something unless they quote the source. They quoted statistics but didn't say the source whether it was the CPI or PPI price series.

Shame on the Wall Street Journal for such a bad article. If consumers are that concerned about price increases, create a Victory Garden or buy a share of a milking cow.

Day 2 Rice Panic and reality TV

I must send a thank you note to Bravo TV for providing me the best in escapist reality shows. I wuv you I really really do! Where else can I see extremely rich good looking people bitch and complain about everything! Not in DC. The rich are very ugly here. Don't get me started about waiting in line at the prepared foods counter at Whole Foods. This old well dressed witch shoved me aside to get her vittles. Manners people, manners!

Here is my take on the "Real Housewives of New York City"

Ramona:
In one episode, you see Ramona talk to her daughter about having an freedom fund or an impolite way to say it is an "FU Fund". I think it is valid advice to have a fund where you can walk if a job or situation isn't work out. A really mean French person named Michelle gave me some advice, "Information is Power." I disagree. Money is.

Alex:
In the reunion episode she quoted Ayn Rand regarding contradictions? OMG! I am deeply disturbed that a social climber like that quoted Ayn Rand.

Luann:
She seems like a nice lady but is really obsessed with her Countess title. Are people impressed with this in America? I mean I guess she is married to French royalty. I really thought most of the french royalty thing ended with the French Revolution!

Bethanny
I really like her. She seems like such a smartass. I want to see more of this on TV. I was devastated when Gilmore GIrls ended.

Jill
I think you are awesome and a great counterpoint to Ramona. It is like watching Good versus Evil. Darth vader versus luke skywalker in a suede outfit.

This stuff really takes my mind off the current rice panic, Day 2. If you really want to stress, look at the inflation adjusted cost per gallon of gasoline.

Rice panic of 2008

Dear Consumers,

I have been reading about your irrational response to the rice futures market. Currently Costco and Sam's Club is preventing you from buying multiple bags of 40lbs basmati and jasmine rice. Are you crazy consumers going to export your rice or something!? Do you think rice is going to be like $40 per pound or something? You are causing me, who doesn't even like rice, to think about buying a 40lb bag JUST IN CASE! Don't Panic! What is it about grain prices that cause people to go all a twitter!

Socialization

One of my favorite shows is the Dog Whisperer. Caeser Milan knows dogs. I mean this man works with pit bulls and has all his fingers. I wish there was a Neighbor Whisperer. I said Good morning to someone at the shuttle stop. They looked shocked. Geez people, get a hold of yourself. It is just a "Howdy" not an armed robbery. I know this isn't a shock but I have no friends in this neighborhood. Everyone either has a dog or twins. Yes thanks to aging females and fertility treatments my neighborhood is full of them. Sometimes they run in packs with their dogs.

Arithmetic for PhDs

It is scary to think about, but sometimes at work I have to answer e-mails from the public. I like to think of myself as Santa Claus, the Economist. If you are nice, I will go out of my way to help you. If you are naughty, well, god help you. Just kidding, let's just say I don't help you as much.

I had to respond to a customer who sent a very curt e-mail. I told him we don't have the data but try this place and sent him some links. He wrote back immediately and said he couldn't find it still. No thanks or anything, just really a curt response back. I politely told him to try the link again and add the numbers together. Yes, a someone who has a doctorate in science couldn't figure out how to add together a couple rows of data on a web page I sent. Oh shame shame lazy academic!

On being a packrat

I am currently cleaning my office again! The spouse assisted. I looked at a box full of miscellanous doodads and said, "It looks a serial killer collects this stuff!." Mr. Spouse quietly agreed.

That is all.

DC Papal vist

I saw the Pope in DC following his White House visit.

I have never seen such crowds and such characters. It never fails to amaze me that Americans will protest anything and anybody. I just wanted to see the Pope and I did. It is one of the things I wanted to do on my "100 things to do before I die" list. I didn't think it was going to be crossed off. I never want to visit Italy because the Italians are super inefficient about their trains and economy, eat too much pasta, and have hellacious traffic. And I don't drink wine.

Highly concentrated Catholics

Well we can all breathe a sigh of relief. The cherry blossom crowd dispated. Tomorrow I will face the Papal visit crowds. Every week there is some sort of event in DC. Lots of reasons to be late for work! Thanks tourists! You give me a valid excuse to be reasonably late!

I have never experienced such a large number of Roman Catholics in the DC area. I have to say my least favorite crowd event was the the IMF-World Bank protestors about 10 years ago. Those people were awful. They looked like hippies and they threw things. I had the misfortune to be near them due to circumstance, a Foreign Service exam, in a building smack in the middle of the protest zone. I found out after trudging around the action from the Security Guard that the State Department canceled my interview for that day. Geez, don't they have phones at the State Department? I broke into tears! I obviously did not get in the Foreign Service or any bonus points for showing up in medias res of a protest.

At this point in life I am really glad I don't work for them. I really wouldn't want to work in some Third World hell-hole. No, I get to work in DC. I like to refer to DC at the fourth circle of Hell.

Cherry Blossom Prime Time

Currently, the Cherry Blossoms are at peak bloom. I don't need the washington post to inform me, I can tell by the sudden influx of tourists. Aaah tourists! What a breath of fresh air. Well in some cases. I can't stand their children on the metro train. The children are insane! They scream and yell and pick their noses. I can't tell you how disgusting that is. I was silently screaming inside.

The tourists dress in vibrant colors like yellow and red. Most DC commuters wear black which usually matches their mood. I am going to descend into the madness and visit the Tidal Basin sometime within the next few days. Wish me luck!

Too much stuff

I am currently in my office and concerned by the state of affairs. I can't walk INTO my office without walking over stuff. I have stuff on my desk, stuff on the floor, and more stuff in files. Good God I need to stop shopping and start filing.

My office looks like a cargo ship overturned and all the stuff that was supposed to go to TJ Max ended up on the shore. Lovely!

Pre-Ides of March celebration

I think we should celebrate the Ides of March. We should all dress up in togas and drink lots of wine. We should designate someone as Caeser and chase them around trying to mock-stab them. Sounds like a good party to me. However if you believe the news reports most Americans don't know what March 15th is and secondly they may not be able to figure out the time of the party because all Americans are bad at math.

I am American and fairly good at math but not good enough to get accepted to that PhD program. I am still annoyed by my rejection from the PhD program. I am dreading sending notice to the people who wrote my letters of recommendation. I feel like I wasted their time. Blah.

I feel like this really kills my academic dreams. I guess I need to work on a backup plan.

Angry, angry

I am so angry about my rejection from the Phd program. I have been so busy that I haven't had enough opportunity to really seethe and wallow in my anger. I want to go to their office and scream at them, Why why why! Perhaps, I will send them a kindly worded e-mail and ask to be waitlisted. This has just been devastating. My poor little ego has taken a cruel blow!

Rejected!

I was rejected from the Ph.D program! This sucks!

Have I angered the Gods? Have I sinned against the Laws of Supply and Demand? Can I have my application and GRE payments back? Damn you Admissions Committee! I am awesome! How dare you deny me my rightful place in the universe!?

I must regroup and then plot my biblical revenge. I am just kidding. I am just going to go shopping.

All Hell Breaks Loose

This week has been very eventful. Various media outlets have been stalking one of my neighbors. I have never met this one personally, but is this a shock? They wait outside the townhouse in order to get a picture or videotape. Whats good for the goose in good for the gander. I took a picture of them! Enjoy!

Finch vs the yuppies

In my neck of the surburbs, the finches are ruthless little beasts. They chitter, they nest, they expell horrible horrible things on the brick. Basically, they are a bane to humanity. They also like to build their homes in our dryer vents. As you can very well imagine, this is a serious fire hazard.

Today I saw my neighbors trying to clean out their dryer vent of finch material. These are the same neighbors who ignored my husband when he told them of the finch problem. Most of the neighbors have little grid metal covers over their dryer vents. The wife just stared at us and as we walked along the sidewalk. I don't wave now unless waved too. She gave us a half assed wave. We saluted back.

It only takes one village idiot to burn down the planned community.

How to take a picture of a peep

Here are directions how to shoot/not kill/ photograph peeps in their natural setting.

1. Peeps are cheap. If you break one, just tear off another.

2. Rationalize how the torn peep doesn't have feelings and stuff it in your mouth.

3. Put other peep on black card board with white cardboard background and add something cute.

4. Add flash because your living room is darker than a dungeon.

5. Add other peeps and chick.

6. Eat them all. Post pictures on Flickr.

Voila!

I hate Thursdays

I get really annoyed on Thursdays. I am not sure why. In fact, I freaking hate Thursdays.

I had the most intense meeting of my life today. I had to present a topic and was interupted like 4 thousand freaking times. I developed a severe headache during the meeting. Afterword, I tried to fix this with an espresso shot mixed in with regular coffee. It is called a "Depth Charge." I like coffee drinks named after weapons.

Today, I really wish I had a castle. So if someone asked me a stupid question or interupted me, well I would just through them in the moat.

Stupid Economists Tricks

I haven't heard any PhD admission news. I am questioning whether I should have taken the GRE a third time to bump my scores up.

I got so stressed out at work today cause the workload increased tenfold. I am so OCD about getting things done! I must drive my coworkers batty.

One of my coworkers is in the middle of their own soap opera. It is better than online radio and Ugly Betty! What is going to happen tomorrow? Will she return to her ex and live happily ever after?

Status Report

I have various matters to report.

1. My Phd application is finally in and being reviewed. I am waiting for word.

2. My coworker did not infect the entire Division with her contagious skin parasite. We are all breathing a sigh of relief that the mites did not mate.

3. I was outside the door to my home when I saw one of my neighbors peeking at me throught their window. I waved at the old lady. I like to tweak people like that.

Thats how I roll in northern virginia.

Yuppie food

I gorged on pizza. I currently feel like a snake that ate one too many pinkies. I ate really awesome pizza too..feta, carmalized onions, and thin crust. I also ate half a vegetarian sandwich called a "Yuppie Veggie" Well, if the shoe fits....
This is how I roll.

Heebie Jeebies

We currently have a contagious situation at work. As a card carrying germaphobe, I am absolutely horrified. I read the Andromeda Strain and know what can happen! Is the CDC going to come in an purge us! I know I have a serious case of the Heebie Jeebies. I think we should call on the special Economist SWAT team and rectify the situation.

Also in random news, all the baristas at the local coffee joints know me. I am a regular. Wow!

Bed, Bath, and Bitchiness

Over the Christmas holiday, I had to go to Bed, Bath, and Beyond to buy an essential item. Don't ask me what it was. Just understand that I needed it and BB&B was the only convienent place to get it.

I had the misfortune to be in the slowest line ever. On a positive note, I got to hear this guy bitch about returning his Braun Tassimo TA 1400 Hot Beverage System
coffee maker. He discussed his complaints about this coffee maker with the store clerk. The entire line just gawked.

Complaint List:

1. a standard coffee mug doesn't fit in the cup slot
My counter argument: You don't drink capuccinos in giant coffee mugs because you can die from that much caffeine! And have you ever heard of pyrex?

2. I have to stand there and push a button.
My counter argument: Don't you have to push a button for a drip coffee maker?

3. I can't believe the Tassimo TA 1400 Hot Beverage System is a Braun product
My counter argument: None. The relationsip between electric shavers and coffee makers perplexed me.

Thank you Mr. Coffee Maker guy. I had no idea the return line could be so entertaining.

On being a misanthrope

I am really starting to dislike most of the human race. If I owned Montana like Ted Turner, I'd live out the rest of my life riding horses, fly fishing, and eating steak. I'd be happy never to see another living soul. Well, OK I wouldn't mind conversing with a few selected souls.

Anyways, I have come to the realization that I truly despise some people and that is OK. In fact, I told one odious person at work that "I don't like people." This person seemed surprised and didn't get the hint to leave my office. Wow!

I think I am turning into a curmudgeon. I have been expending so much effort toward my GRE efforts that I have little time for anything else. I hope to put 2007 behind and embark on a better life. Jeez, I sound like I need to go on Dr. Phil.