My take on the US Chamber of Commerce kerfluffle

Shame on the US Chamber of Commerce!

The Washington Post wrote an article about the US Chamber of Commerce's
recent actions regarding a possible economic analysis of the Health Bill. See
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/15/AR2009111503159.html

Apparently the US Chamber of Commerce wanted to get a really important Economist to study the health bill and write that health insurance reform is bad for the economy. Oh yeah, and get other important Economists to sign a letter that they agree.

Well, this makes me sick to my stomach. Anybody who signs onto this project is really whoring themselves to the highest bidder. The US Chamber of Commerce really shot themselves in the foot. Can anyone trust their analysis? Hell no. Don't trust any organization that manipulates or predetermines the outcome of a study.

I am a Republican, but I want an honest analysis of the health bill. Who can we trust to give a non-partisan analysis.

Passive Aggressive Behavior on Public Transport

I sat next to a somewhat normal looking person on the metro today. She immediately jacked up the volume on her ipod. It was a very annoying song from Beyonce. I took out my blackberry and googled "I hate people who play IPODS too loud on the Train." Then I typed "Why I hate DC." I'll be damned if the lady didn't turn down the volume. She was eavedropping on my blackberry! This made my day.

Sarcasm applied to nasty individuals

I am turning into a misanthrope. I seem to expect the worst from humanity and am never dissapointed. I am dealing with this by being sarcastic.

I was going for a walk and someone asked the spouse for directions. They immediately continue on their journey without acknowleding the help they received. I responded by saying very loudly "You are welcome!" I think I need to quell this urge to be Ms. Manners. I don't expect Yuppies to deal with my outburst via gunshots but you never know in Virginia.

Did I mention that my neighboors lack manners. Or perhaps they hate me? I said Good morning to one and they ignored me. This happened twice. Also their sniveling beasts barked at me quite feriouciously. Yuck, reader I hate them and their little dogs.

My neighboors across the street have lived their for 9 years and have never said hello to me once. They park their fleet of Mercedes in visitor parking and I never report them! Gosh, they have the audacity to put political signs in their front yard too. When they peep out their window to see who is on the sidewalk, I acknowledge them with a jaunty wave. They don't wave back.

So much for the concrete pineapples of hospitality that each neighboor places near their doorstep.

Yuppie smackdown in Hooville

Dog + dropped leash + moving car = dead dog

Crisis was averted. The dog lunged at me and narrowly missed getting hit by its owners car. Yeah, she didn't apologize for her dog's misbehavior. Nice.

I don't think I am getting invited to their Christmas party.

Drop out advice for Type A Personalities

I am at a crossroads. I am currently toying with the idea of dropping out of school. It just seems to be too much to work and go to school.

Here is my pro and con list:

Pro
1. no HW
2. I get my life back
3. time to origami

Con
1. HW
2. no 4 hour classes
3. Career SCUD missile

I just don't feel the love for this program. I feel like I am slogging through and not enjoying it. And I seem obsessed with the HW issue.

Dealing with "Sam"

I am currently dealing with one of the most difficult coworkers ever. He can't seem to breathe without asking me if the formula for oxygen, carbon dioxide, and miscellanous atmospheric gases are appropriate.

Is Sam dense or difficult? I am not sure. I just know that he is an asshole. Don't expect me to contribute to his retirement gift/party. Oh hell no, I am going to use the money to buy a small bottle of Moet and Chadon. I am going to sip it in my office bedamned the government regulations about alcohol in the office.

Payback IS a Bitch

I am currently working on a project with a coworker who I will call "Sam." I hate Sam. About 3 years ago, I needed Sam's help with a different project. He was really mean and obnoxious to me and didn't answer my question. Fast forward three years later and "Sam" needs my help now.

I am not helping Sam. Revenge is sweet.

Note to self, always be kind to junior staffers.

Dark Side of the Moon

I need a vodka shot and some Tylenol. Not necessarily in that order.

Why DC sucks

I can't seem to gather my thoughts in paragraphs so I guess I will itemize it. This is why I think DC sucks. Sing to

1. DC government is being run like a banana republic
2. Marion Barry is an elected DC Council Member
3. Metrorail kills
4. There are too many Ls: lawyers, lobbyists, and liars
5. The Real World is filming in Dupont Circle
6. Larry Summers is an actual economic advisor following Harvard fiasco
7. Fannie Mae is still not federalized
8. Where being a bum is a valid career path
9. DDOTs clueless 14th st bridge project
10. Tourists who walk in clumps

I only like the Costcos, Reagan Airport, and Mary Matalin.

I hate DC in the summertime

On metrorail, there is a is a stink to seat ratio in the summer. The empty seats are usually next to stinky and/or crazy people. I typically use a five point scale.

1 Point Moderate stinky/no craziness
2 Points Slightly stinky/no craziness
3 Points Odorific
4 Points Visible Dirt, cloud of dust and fumes
5 Points Oscar the Grouch would be proud!/Randome muttering or cursing

If they are 1-2 points I can handle. After 3, hasta la vista baby. Unfortunately, today I sat next to a #4. It was a stealthy stinky person. It was too crowded to move! Oh the horror!

I should have used some vicks vapo rub under my nostrils! The man smelled like death!

A sad day in DC

I found today quite sad. The Holocaust museum security officer passed away. I am shocked and saddened by the violence that one terrible person can wreck. I don't understand why these things happen.

I am glad that the gunman has been charged and justice will be served.

I personally hope the gunman bastard SOB rots in jail for the rest of his life.

Contractor of the year Award

Dear Dryer Vent Contractor:

Thank you for coming to my home and putting the cover over the dryer vents. I really appreciate your care and due diligence regarding the 2 birds you trapped in there. When we called, you said you would "Fix it." Somehow you managed to reset the covers and trap another bird. I just set all the bastards free and ruined your $350 dollar fix.

BTW, I am not going to add you on the Home Owners Association Fav Home Contractors.
Anger one Yuppie, you anger them all!

Sincerely,

The Aggravated Economist

More Magical Thinking by Malcom Gladwell

Here is a short synapsis of The Tipping Point. Events are like viruses. That's it, you don't have to read it now. I have just saved about 4 hours for everyone in the universe to do something more productive. I must be a "Maven."

Thank you Malcom for coming up with crazy assed theories that really have no basis in reality. Dude, you give the social sciences a bad name. I am quite annoyed that you have written another book. Oh the horror! Has this man ever heard of linear regression?

Cherry Blossom Time

Here is a news update. The entire universe is going to be in DC tommorow to look at the cherry blossoms. They will ooh and ahhh, break some twigs, get stuck on metro, and generally look lost.

I am going in and taking pictures of the event. I am not sure if I am more excited about the cherry trees or the crazy ass tourists who are going to overrun the city.

I am currently looking at my career options, rebuilding Aghanistan as a civil servant in a flak jacket or joining the crew on Whale Wars. I have no seamanship skills. I would probably be stuck in the galley making butter bombs.

The week in review

I almost bought a T-Shirt that says that "Stupid People Make My Head Hurt." I think it is very appropriate for this week. I am not sure how I got though it.

Work really sucks and it isn't just because the economy sucks. No this general suckiness was manmade and completely preventable. We currently experienced a regime change and the whole organization was switched about. And it wasn't because the Democrats are in office!

It seems like this organization shifts itself about every five minutes. Since I have been there we Re-org'ed 3 times, i moved between five offices, 2 floors, 4 roommates, and a few meltdowns.

Do Senior Executive Staff take a course in Bureaucractic Reorganization? Every time we get a new SES person they like to move us about like chess pieces. Geez people, if it isn't broke don't fix it. You loose institutional history and expertise when you bandy people about.

Duck almost got Pekinged

Well work was fun today. And I am researching job transfers.

I am definitely looking forward to this summer....one of my "Favorite" staff is leaving. I just want to send this person my regards and thanks for the memories.

Thanks for the following items:

1. Canceling my Thanksgiving plans a few years back. It cost about $250 to change my flights. You didn't even need me that day for the meeting!
2. "Teaching" me how to use a very basic formula in EXCEL.
3. the general lack of respect and rudeness
4. "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes"
5. canceling various types of training

Ok. Well, as I walked to Metro I saw a crazy ass mallard duck just stop in the middle of the street. It looked like it was being indecisive. I am not going to make that same error.

EndGame

I am looking to get the hell out of Dodge or at least to go to a different part of town.

Current managment threw the whole organzation up in the air and expected things to fit back together like a jig saw puzzle. As a result, no one knows what they are doing. I think they have pushed us back at least five years as an organization.

I really hoped it would work out. However, the new apparatchik seems to enjoy Management as Crisis to Crisis rather than instigating some organizational stability. As a result, the more experienced staff are leaving. And I hope to be one of them.

Once I was asked what type of managment style I might have. Honestly, I am not exactly sure but I know what not to do now.

What I learned from The Caine Mutiny

I just watched the Caine Mutiny and found relevant strategies to deal with a crazy-ass management team.

1. Ignore the crazy and just play along
2. Assume that upper management will ignore the crazy and play along too
3. Tenure means everything
4. You are screwed if you don't have any allies.
5. Don't stick your neck out unless it is life threatening
6. Sometimes you just gotta count the strawberries

Thanks Herman Wouk!

Sinking Ships and Diminishing Returns

Currently morale is at an all time low at work. There has been a regime change we have a new Apparatchik. Everybody is looking for a new job or retiring so they don't have to deal with all the crap. I am currently looking at becoming one of the crew members on Whale Wars and slinging rancid butter at Japanese Boats. I am joking but the level of futility is about the same.

I am really in shock how bad the work environment is. I guess it made sense to reorganize us in an abstract kind of way. Hmmm one of the results is that no one knows what the F### we are doing.

I can't believe this person is Senior Executive Service. Didn't they learn anything?

Oh F### everything right now!

Current Academic Meltdown

I am not doing well academically right now. I find it difficult to listen to a pompous, left leaning, misogynist, dodo head professor.

I need to get my stuff together and just get over it.

Why can't liberals and I just get along?

Happy DC Moments with Zantac

What doesn't kill me makes me stronger!

You might be a redneck...

Today in DC a crazy person rode his bike in the crosswalk, right in front of me. He looked at me and said "You don't look like a redneck."

I am not sure how to interpret this.

The Italian Stallion

I work with lots of male economists. Usually, I coexist peacefully with them. I don't bother them during March Madness and they don't bother me when I do my online shoe shopping. I don't talk Ugg to them and they don't bother me with any sports related chatter.

However, there is one male economist who I call the "Italian Stallion." He thinks he is God's Gift to Women. I heard him in the hall bragging about his "way with women" and how they "like foreign accents." Apparently, in college a another student asked him if he and his friend were Italian. He said yes to this poor co-ed and started speaking Serbian to his friend with a fake Italian accent. The "Italian Stallion" did not say whether the co-ed bought this or not.

I do not recommend this behavior as a mating/dating strategy. Based on what else I heard in the hall, I don't think anyone is going to be paying for stud service.

The Economics of Stuff

I have too much stuff. I just dropped three bags of stuff at the Goodwill and made a U-Turn on a very busy street to go right back in and get different stuff. I don't understand why one bag of stuff is better than the stuff I just dropped off.

Oh I know why! It is the thrill of the hunt! I can buy hardback books for $2 and paperbacks for $1. It is the complete randomness of the stuff that fascinates me. Sometimes the stuff is good and sometimes it is just trash. This week, I bought a Burberry Trench Coat for $35 dollars! I have always wanted a Burberry Raincoat but I never wanted to spend a thousand dollars for the privilege.

Also I love the fact that I have to keep an eye on my cart or someone will actually try and run-off with my hand selected used items. People circle like sharks! I am not afraid to say "Hey, that's my stuff!" and they usually slink away. I have only observed this behavior at Costco. People ruthless steal cart and run off with your stuff there too. It is amazing how crazy people get when you get between them and their rotisserie chickens.

Economic Report of Whitehouse Squirrels

Today I conducted a preliminary analysis of the White House squirrel population. Here is an official transcript of an interview with an especially hyper one.

I asked Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel, "Come down from that tree! What do you think about the state of the union?"

Reply, "I am doing OK. I have enough acorns to last me the winter. Do you have any trailmix?"

No, I can't offer you gratuities in exchange for the interview.

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "Oh OK. What about a peanut then?"

No, no peanuts. Let's get back on the issues! Has nut production decreased over the last several quarters?

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I have no idea. I usually beg for sandwiches if I don't get enough nuts. It is amazing what you can get from tourists if you look cute enough"

I saw you with that tourist! You almost bit the hand that fed you!

Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel said, "I know. I got a nice pat on the head and a sandwich"
You are not supposed to touch the squirrel.

Point taken. Interview over. Mr. Whitehouse Squirrel went to harrass a tourist.