So long and thanks for all the Fish, Mr. Greenspan

Tuesday January 31st is Alan Greenspan's expected last day at the Fed.

Thanks for keeping it real and rational Mr. Greenspan!!!

Godspeed in your post-Fed irrational exuberance!

Note, the title is a gentle allusion to Douglas Adams.

Yuppie panic attack

I went to Whole Foods in Annadale, VA to pick up overly coddled pony size streamed shrimp. And I found out that they closed! Oh the horror!

They moved to the new location in Old Town Alexandria. I looked at my spouse and whined, "Why oh why did they have to move" Yes, I had a Yuppie Panic Attack.

Apparently, Whole Foods up and left for posher pastures . I dread Old Town Alexandria due to the hellacious traffic, tight parking, and very evil parking structures.

The Old Town section of Alexandria already has a Trader Joes. Why must they have this Whole Foods too. Bloodthirsty Beaujolis swilling old towners !!! Damn them all to hell. I'll have to find another place to get overly coddled pony size steamed shrimp at a more convient location.

Freezer cake

I am thrilled about two things.

One of my mean coworkers has left for a new job. Her going away party was today.

I did not win the "Why I hate DC" and get the blog contest. See here: http://whyihatedc.blogspot.com/. The suspense was killing me. I'm glad it wasn't me....I will have extra time to pursue my arts and crafts projects.

Anyway, We need to ban going away parties. We have such a high turnover that someone asked me if we keep a cake in the freezer at work. So if someone announces their departure, all we have to do is defrost and serve.

Stairway to Heaving

I got coffee problems and the Thursday malaise and it ain’t pretty.

I wanted to try something new so I went to Cosi for coffee. I was extremely dissapointed by it. They charged me $2.41 for a gigante drip coffee. There was nothing gigante about it. In fact, I can get the same size coffee at Au Bon Pain for $1.81. Also, Cosi's coffee accessory bar is weak. They were out of skim milk and other add ons.

Why is it so difficult to have a good cup of coffee in DC?

And I don’t understand why people line up for Starbucks at 15th and K. Sometimes they are 20 deep. Honestly, the coffee isn’t very good. And, they don’t serve a very good cappuccino. Perhaps they just needed to get out of the office and the Starbucks is a nice refuge?

OK enough about the coffee. At lunch, I caught snippets of a really strange conversation.

One of the young economists here asked young economist to hit him on the right side of the head, not the left. I’m not kidding. Somebody really asked his pal to smack him. I am not sure of the context but hey does it really matter? I really wanted to volunteer and smack some sense into him.

I think these Generation Y coworkers are strange. One was also singing “Smelly Kat” earlier and playing the guitar. Also, on a daily basis one Gen Y coworker tries to sing and play Stairway to Heaven on the guitar. He can’t get past the 5th or 6th note. I am starting to have nightmares about this Lady and this Gold thing and this whole Stairway to Heaving.

According to the Cameron Station Bee

In case you don't know, there has numerous package thefts in my Alexandria neigborhood over the Christmas holiday. This has caused much consternation and unease among the yuppies.

Our local coffee place, Cameron Perks, began to offer a package delivery service. You could have your stuff shipped to the Coffee shop and they will charge you $3 to hand over your package/hostage. No, I'm not knocking them for charging ransom money. I think they are providing a valuable service during these troubling times.

Anyway, UPS, Fedex, DHL stopped dropping off any packages on people's front doors in Cameron Station. So if you wanted to get your ChristmassHanukahKwanza stuff, you had to go and pick it up at their warehouses. I personally lost a Monastery fruitcake because UPS would not believe I actually wanted my fruitcake dropped at my front door. They returned it to the Monastery in Berryville. http://www.monasteryfruitcake.org/ I know....poor me. But I love those damn fruitcakes.

I digress. So in January 2006, I receive the latest edition of the Cameron Station Bee, the community newsletter. The thief was arrested! The details were shocking!

Here they are:
1. The thief was a neighbor!
2. The thief had 60 packages!!!
3. An alert UPS delivery driver noticed this lady stalking the truck. He called the Alexandria PD and they came and got her!

And I wonder.....did this lady steal people's trashcans? I "lost" 2 and also 2 valuable recycle bins mysteriously.

I can rest easy now, knowing that my LL Bean order is safe!

My Survivor moment at work!

I just found out that my coworker, AKA Shoopie, is retiring this May! Can it be true!?

I am doing the happy dance right know. I had a sinus headache but suddenly all is clear just like if I took a menthol cough drop.

Shoopie came by my office to get office gossip from my new officemate, "Betty." Shoopie asked Betty why she looked so glum. Betty gave a noncommital answer. Shoopie pressed somemore and then Betty asked when Shoopie was going to retire. The answer was May 2006! I think Betty was annoyed that Shoopie dropped by.

Shoopie is such an idiot. Those privacy panels in the office don't block sound. Its not like I am in a cone of silence "Get Smart" reference everybody! I knew you were there Shoopie but I sure as heck did not want to talk to you. In fact when I heard the news about your retirement, I bit my tongue. I had to in order to prevent me from screaming, "Ding dong the witch is dead" I knew exactly how the munchkins felt after they resolved that entire witch problem.

Well, I did not outwit or outplay but I really think I may outlast Shoopie. One of three really isn't bad!

Lets hope I can stay under the radar for 4.5 months!

What's a CrackBerry?

Oh my gosh! The following post is not very nice. I am in a bad mood. Be warned!

Ask yourself the following...what can you call a slightly addictive e-mail device or a former Mayor of DC who just failed a drug test.....

Crackberry! or Crackbarry! Whatever one prefers!

See this http://www.wjla.com/news/stories/0106/292966.html

Shame on you Mr. Barry! Someone interviewed on the news said you did alot of good for the people of DC, the young and the old. Well you are encouraging your local industries especially the local distributors! Get help or get out of office. Maybe you can write a book called "A Million Little Potholes" about your time as the Mayor of DC. Then you can follow up with a sequel "My Friend Anthony" and talk about your misadventures on the DC Council.

Liar liar pants on fire

There has been much ado about the whole James Frey "A Million Little Pieces" scandal.

In case you haven't heard, the Smoking Gun website published a little article regarding the factual accuracy of Mr. Frey's autobiography. See here: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html

Well, isn't this a kerfluffle. Imagine that, a former alcoholic and drug addict lying! Why is everybody surprised? I mean, James Frey and friends think lobster and steak are haute cuisine. Is Mr. Frey a liar or just guilty of bad taste?

I read the book and thouroughly enjoyed it. I really had to suspend belief about many passages though. I am not surprised that he took some artistic liberties. I am surprised by all the media outrage and the nasty reviews on Amazon.com. It must be a slow news day.

Larry King asked James Frey what would Oprah think? Is this question for real??? WWOT. OK Larry, Oprah is not a religous figure; she is a media mogul. And Mr. King, don't inflame the Oprahites, I'm afraid what they might do to my fav Borders. They better not ransack the bookstores and interfere with me getting my next Rachel Ray book!

Mr Frey, I think you should fess up and admit you lied. I think it would be more admirable than all the backpedaling you are doing now.